We tend to set resolutions because a New Year operates as a cyclical marker of time, allowing us to audit and evaluate our lives. It’s like cleaning up a room: seeing what we have that serves and what does not, and pondering which new things will improve the place.
But there’s just one problem – many of us don’t actually know how to set realistic and achievable goals.
Research suggests that 43% of people expect to give up their New Year’s resolutions by February, with 23% quitting in the first week. But why is this? Here we explore the main reasons why New Year’s resolutions typically don’t stand the test of time. We’ll suggest ways for you to set realistic, worthwhile goals that you are more likely to stick to and execute.
What is a New Year’s Resolution?
Creating New Year’s resolutions is a tradition that many people participate in around the beginning of the New Year. The start of a new year is perceived by many as a fresh start and therefore an opportunity to revamp our habits, whether it be ridding bad ones or developing healthy ones. With resolute determination, we make a resolution to change.
1. Don’t give up after one setback
This is a big one. It’s very common to adopt an ‘all-or-nothing’ mentality when it comes to setting goals. For example, you might set a noble, albeit vague resolution to eat more healthily. You’re all fired up with good intentions, and it gets off to a good start. Then you’re faced with a challenge.
Take this scenario. It’s a friend’s birthday drink. You might intend to go for a couple of drinks. A couple of drinks might lead to a takeaway. The next day you’re full of remorse. It’s common to experience feelings of failure and a tendency to give up as a result.
But this thinking is flawed. Many of us share a widespread mentality that believes one ‘mistake’ equals total failure. However, this is not the case, especially in terms of long-term goals like healthy eating. In fact, believing that you have reversed the effects of your good intentions after two days off is the same as believing you have achieved your goal by having two days on. It’s all about putting it into context.
Change happens with long-term consistency, so one or two days within months of commitment will not make a huge difference. The ability to ‘get back on the horse’ is one of the most vital traits of resilience, and this applies to all goals. It’s about progress, not perfection.
2. Be more specific
It’s important to be specific. According to James Clear, in his book Atomic Habits, you’re two to three times more likely to stick with your habits if you make a specific plan for when, where, and how you will perform a particular behaviour. This concept is called “implementation intentions.”
Here’s an example template.
During the next [period of time] I will partake in [habit/resolution] on [day] at [time of day] at [place].”
To put this into practice, you could say something like: During the next three months, I will partake in 45 minutes of resistance training on Monday, Wednesday and Friday evenings at the gym.
Psychologists call these specific plans ‘implementation intentions’ because they state how you intend to implement a particular behaviour. However, (and this is crucial) follow-up research has discovered implementation intentions only work when you focus on one thing at a time.
This brings us nicely to the next point.
3. Don’t make too many changes at the same time
People who try to accomplish multiple goals are less committed and less likely to succeed than those who focus on a single goal.
Embedding a new habit requires conscious effort to do it consistently. We only have a finite amount of willpower and energy, so we need to be thoughtful about how we use this resource to prevent burnout.
Remember, you still have to go to work, study, parent, socialise and all that other good stuff required to live your life, so changing even one aspect of your routine is a big commitment.
However, if you are consistent with your ‘one thing’ for long enough, the pattern of behaviour becomes a solidified part of your routine, and you can complete it without using up significant willpower. You do it without thinking. Researchers call this unconscious pattern of behaviour ‘automaticity’.
What is automaticity?
Automaticity is the ability to perform a behaviour without thinking about each step, and is only possible after abundant repetition and practice.
Many of you will have heard of 66 days being the amount of time it takes for habit formation to occur. Although it may sound like an arbitrary number plucked from thin air, it actually comes from extensive studies.
In one study, for example, participants repeated a specific self-chosen, health-promoting behaviour. Daily ratings of the subjective automaticity of the behaviour showed an increase, with an initial acceleration that slowed to a plateau after an average of 66 days (1).
Once the habit is formed and automatic, you have the energy to build a new habit while maintaining the initial habit with very little effort. And then you can add another, and another.
So remember – when you see others with multiple healthy habits, it’s not necessarily because they’re more resilient or stronger than you. Perhaps it’s because they’ve formed habits over time in line with their energetic resources.
As always with these things, it’s you versus you, so try not to compare yourself to others. Don’t judge your day one against another person’s day 1,000 (or 6,600).
4. Set more realistic goals
Goals also need to be realistic. Applying the specificity principles we talked about before should help you with this, as the logistical details often reveal how achievable the goal is.
There are many things that affect the realism of your goals, including personal limitations. These come in many forms, whether it be monetary, physical, situational or more. While some can be overcome, others may present too much of a challenge.
Let’s say you’re a non-runner sets a goal to run five times a week. Although you are super motivated at the start and it sounds possible in your head, it’s probably unsustainable.
Within a couple of weeks, you could be struggling with DOMS, feeling super-fatigued and sick of getting up early. Your performance in the activity dissipates, as does your enjoyment. It’s only a matter of time before you miss some sessions, get demotivated, and stop entirely.
So you need to reevaluate. Five times straight away might be unrealistic, but maybe two or three times is not. Although this is less volume initially, it’s a whole lot more than doing five for a couple of weeks and then giving up for the rest of the year.
Following a tailored professional plan is a good way to progress. For running, Couch to 5k is a great one for beginners, while more advanced runners may benefit from a race-training plan.
5. Avoid relying on motivation alone
Motivation is what gives you that fire in your belly. It kicks off the initial excitement that makes you grab your notepad and scribble down your dreams. It’s an amazing feeling to revel in the possibilities that your newfound desire will unfold. At that moment, you’re ready to conquer the world. But the dreams need a solid plan of action to bring them into reality.
Whether you wake up one morning after a poor night’s sleep, or get home from work after a gruelling day, motivation is often challenged with day-to-day life. Sometimes you just won’t feel like doing it. This is normal, but what do you do about it?
When motivation is in abundance, take the opportunity to set up the logistics and routine that will allow you to take action on that goal. When that moment arrives and you don’t feel like it, the flow and current you’ve built up from repetitive action could be the incentive to keep you going. Help yourself achieve automaticity by reducing barriers.
Let’s say your goal is to run in the morning three days a week. An example could be putting out your running kit next to your bed the night before. That means if you wake up one morning stressed and in a rush, that extra effort to fumble through your drawer to find a pair of shorts won’t be your downfall. By removing as many barriers as possible, you give yourself a better chance to automate the process.
6. Be clear on the why
One of the most common reasons why people do not stick to their resolutions is actually pretty simple. They don’t know why they’re doing it.
In order to sustain and commit to an overt lifestyle change, you need to know why you’re doing it. This will give you the motivation and the passion. So ask yourself specific questions about the change. How will it affect your life for the better? What will your life look like as you try to reach the goal? What will it look like after?
The problem with long-term goals is that the pain and cost is often present, while the reward is in the future. Understanding the why of the distant goal helps make the present easier.
Asking yourself these questions and really focusing on why you want to achieve them could provide a flicker of motivation when you most need it. Like a tinderbox in a humid rainforest.
Summary: How to stick to your New Year’s Resolutions
Let’s review six reasons why New Year’s resolutions fail and how to overcome them
- Don’t give up after one failure – If you have a setback, start again the next day. Consistency prevails over perfection.
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- Be specific – Developing a specific plan for when, where, and how you will stick to a new habit will dramatically increase the chances of following through, but only if you prioritise one thing.
- Focus on one thing – On average, it takes at least two months for new habits to become automatic behaviours. Focus on one at a time, otherwise you could get overwhelmed.
- Be realistic – Make sure your goal excites you, but is also achievable. There’s no point in acting on an ambitious goal for two weeks and then stopping. You’re better off changing less but doing it long-term.
- Value automation over motivation – That initial burst of motivation is fleeting, so set up systems and routines that allow you to carry out your goal even if you don’t feel like it.
- Understand your why – Asking yourself the important questions about why you want to achieve your goals is a powerful source of motivation when you need it most.
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