A Guide to Gym Etiquette (or how not to be hated at the gym) #donotbethatguy

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We all have our own individual pet hates when it comes to the gym. From mobile phone use in between sets, curling in the squat rack to the guy throwing dumbbells around and stalking the weights room like he’s the new Arnie; there’s always someone who gets on our nerves. Lets take a look at some of the most common gym annoyances. Do you recognise these in your gym? #donotbethatguy

The Social Media Poser

The Social Media Poser but more commonly know as ‘the douchebag’. If he’s not ‘checking in’ at the gym he’s tagged himself in a selfie – camera in one hand and the heaviest weight he can find in the other. #gymselfie. After a satisfying workout The Poser rewards himself with a bicep kiss and a spray tan – and maybe a different filter on instagram.

The Loiterer

Don’t confuse The Loiterer with The Social Media Poser. This gym user spends half his time in the gym on the phone, standing around and leaves after doing NOTHING. He’ll spend the rest of his evening telling people that he ‘just totally spent two hours at the gym.’ HARDCORE.

The Inconsiderate

The Inconsiderate will occupy the bench in your gym for over two hours and heaven forbid approaching them to relinquish this seat of power – you will be shot down with the iciest of stares which tell you to ‘know your place’. After finally leaving the gym, they leave behind plenty of sweat (and the weights they didn’t put back in the rack) as a way to mark their territory.

The Predator

The Predator – women beware… this guy he has a wandering eye, and spends as much time as he does working out just staring at women in a kind of creepy way that he perceives as enticing. Once eye contact has been made he’ll then start lifting (picture Ron Burgandy in Anchorman counting his biceps curls) in a desperate attempt to display his alpha male dominance. As much as this guy clears the gym of women – many cancelled gym memberships quote this guy as the reason for leaving – he will also occasionally ensnare an easily impressed lycra-clad female gym goer. So, fair play really.

And ladies, if you think he’s predatory at the gym, avoid him in any other social situations – where he can be found wearing a very tight t-shirt and asking women to ‘feel the work’.

The Ego

The Ego‘s muscle are inflated as much as their self-worth. Swinging the wrong weight around isn’t going to do anything.  Everyone is a little guilty of this… but some are much worse than others. Leave your ego at the door and focus on form.

The Broscientist

The Coach / Broscientist – He’s had his 30g serving of pre-workout prep and he’s not going to let you forget it… Between walking over to you, mid reps, critiquing your technique, and disagreeing with the amount of cottage cheese you consume per day, he will undoubtedly share some real gems of misguided wisdom.

Dude, if I wanted a personal trainer, I would’ve got one. But a Paleo diet you say?

The Newbie

The Newbie, the classic ‘all the gear, no idea’ – don’t hate, we’ve all been there! You can spot the Newbie a mile off. The guy that doesn’t really know what he’s doing or how to do it and heads straight for the dumbbells wearing flip flops and tracksuit bottoms with the label hanging out of them. He gazes longingly over at The Ego on the machine next to him trying to copy their technique whilst trying to look as cool as The Social Media Poser. He’ll appear in January (as a New Years Resolution) and just before the summer, clutching a copy of Men’s Health and dreaming of having the kind of arms that look great in a vest. But often he’ll feel so uncomfortable that his fitness regimen will evaporate as quickly as his hopes and dreams.

The Grunter

The Grunter, you’ll hear him before you can see him.  Dude, no one wants to hear you lift weights like you’re making love when you’re benching 60kg.

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